


Kinda Sorta Famous

by my_mad_fatuation



Series: Not Even Famous [2]
Category: My Mad Fat Diary
Genre: Alternate Universe - Bed & Breakfast, Alternate Universe - Celebrity, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-16
Updated: 2018-03-19
Packaged: 2019-04-01 03:31:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13989552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/my_mad_fatuation/pseuds/my_mad_fatuation
Summary: International pop sensation, Finn, returns to the Bouchtat B&B to work on his next album, and tries to find time to spend with Rae.





	1. Chapter 1

“So, have you looked at the guest bookings for February yet?” Finn asked over video chat.

“What are you talking about?” Rae replied.

“At the B&B,” he said. “Have you checked who’s booked it in February?”

“I don’t really pay attention to that stuff. Besides, that’s private information and I’m not allowed to tell you, anyway.”

“Just check, all right?”

She sighed. “Fine. Hold on.”

He watched as she appeared to be looking something up on her computer, and her expression changed from slightly annoyed to slightly amused.

“It looks like someone’s booked the whole place for the entire month,” she said, like she was suppressing a smile.

“Is that so?”

“Why would you do that?”

He smirked at her. “What makes you think I have anything to do with this?”

“The booking is under ‘Beth Turner,’ so I assume that means you’ll be there, too. Unless she just needs a break from you.”

“I need to write a new album,” he explained. “And where better to do that than the middle of nowhere?”

“Sure.”

“It has nothing to do with seeing you again.”

“Of course.”

“That’s just a fringe benefit.” He raised his eyebrows a couple of times.

She laughed a little and shook her head. “You’re such a dork.”

“You love it.”

“Anyway…” she added, rolling her eyes. “I should get going. Wouldn’t want to be late for my second day on the job, right?”

“You’re so diligent.”

“Yes, well, I’ll be back by eight, my time, if you want to talk more then—”

“Er, sorry,” he said as he scrunched up his face apologetically. “I’ll be in soundcheck then.”

“Oh, right. I forgot you had another concert tonight. Where are you again?”

“Austin.”

“Okay, well, have a good show, then.”

“And have a good… bakery time… I guess.”

“Thanks,” she said with a soft chuckle. “Later, Finn.”

“Later, girl.”

***

“Well, your album had better be a huge success,” said Rae right after Finn had kissed her for the first time.

“Why’s that?” he asked, frowning slightly.

She placed her hand on his chest. “Because I only want you for your money.”

“Oh, of course,” he said. “I’ll get right on that.”

She smiled a little as he held onto her hand against his chest. “Okay, I really have to go,” she added.

“Okay, go.”

“I’m going to need my hand, too.”

He reluctantly let go of her and she slipped back towards the door.

“See you in a few hours, yeah?”

He nodded. “Later, girl.”

She nodded as well before leaving and he flopped onto the too-firm bed.

What was he supposed to do now? Probably work on writing his next album, he thought. He looked over at his luggage that Darryl and Rae had helped him pile in the corner of the room, including the hardshell case for his acoustic guitar, and sighed.

He’d only had a week’s break at home after the end of his tour before he had to come here, and all he really wanted to do was relax and hang out with Rae, just pretending to be normal for once. He considered writing a song based on that feeling, but realized that nobody wanted to hear yet another song about how hard it was to be famous, boohoo.

As if she could tell that he was faffing about instead of working, Ms. Turner knocked on the door before poking her head into the room. He sat up quickly, as he was quite startled by her sudden appearance.

“What are you doing?” he asked her.

“I came to ask you the same question,” she replied. “You’re supposed to be working.”

“I am,” he grumbled.

“You were lying down.”

“It’s my process, all right? I can’t just pick up a pen and start writing; I can’t just pick up my guitar and start composing. I need inspiration to come to me.”

“And you’re going to find inspiration by lying down?”

“Maybe.”

“You’ve got to have over a dozen songs ready to go by the time we hit the recording studio next month, or else you’re just wasting everyone’s time,” she said. “Is that what you want to do? Waste everyone’s time?”

He was tempted to say, “Yes,” but he refrained and just shook his head.

“Look, one day you’ll be important enough that you can do things on your own schedule, all right? But for now, you’ve got deadlines to meet. Got it?”

“I know, I know…”

“Good. Now, go outside or something. You need to keep up with exercise; this isn’t a vacation.”

***

After walking around the perimeter of the building for ten minutes and deciding it was too cold to be outside, Finn spent the next few hours sitting his room, decidedly not working at all, until he got a text from Rae telling him that she was back from her job. She told him to meet her in the kitchen, but not to let her parents see him or they would want to know where he was going.

He also knew that he had to avoid Ms. Turner on his way, or she would certainly have questions as well. He opened his door very slowly, hoping to avoid making the creaking sound that it always seemed to make, but to no avail. He stepped over the threshold—another creaky spot—and shut the door as quietly as he could before tiptoeing towards the stairs.

He could hear Ms. Turner talking in her room as he passed—to whom, he wasn’t sure—and hurried down the steps before she could come looking for him. He stopped at the bottom of the staircase and looked around the corner into the sitting room, making sure that the proprietors weren’t there, before turning towards the dining room.

He had almost made it to the kitchen door when it opened and Mrs. Bouchtat came through it, nearly bumping into him.

“I’m sorry, dear,” she said, after she almost lost her balance. “I didn’t know you would be standing there.”

“Sorry,” he replied, though he could tell he looked like he’d been caught red-handed.

“Can I get you something?”

“Oh, I was just going to see if there were any croissants left from breakfast—”

“I’m sure there are,” she said, guiding him towards one of the dining chairs. “Have a seat and I’ll send Rae out with some for you, all right, love?”

He forced a polite smile and nodded.

As she disappeared through the kitchen door, he lowered his head into his hands and sighed. How was he going to get out of this one?

The door opened again shortly, only this time it was Rae walking through it, carrying a plate full of croissants, which she set in front of him.

“Here you go,” she said.

“Er, thanks.”

She looked around for a second and then smacked him on the arm. “I told you not to let her see you!”

“I tried!” he said. “I didn’t know she’d be coming out of the kitchen at the exact moment that I—” He shut up quickly as Mrs. Bouchtat reappeared from the kitchen.

“Good, you got your croissants, then,” she said to him with a smile. “You eat up, now. And Rae, there’s still a pile of dishes in there, you know.”

“I’m about to get to it,” said Rae. “Chill out.”

Her mother gave her a look like, “Don’t speak to me that way in front of guests!” But she didn’t say anything else before walking away towards the front hall and sitting room.

“All right, look,” Rae added to Finn once her mother was gone. “I’ve got to finish up these dishes, but then we can get out of here, yeah?”

“Sure,” he replied, picking up a croissant and taking a large bite of it.

“You know you don’t have to eat those, right?”

“I know,” he said with his mouth full. “I want to.”

***

When the kitchen door opened again, Rae poked her head into the dining room and motioned for Finn to follow her. He double-checked that no one was around to see him before he went into the kitchen.

“So, what’s—” he began just as she grabbed him by the front of his jumper and pulled him in for a kiss.

He put his hands on her sides as she pushed him against the island in the middle of the room, causing him to make an “oof!” sound when he bumped the edge of the counter. She held onto the back of his neck as she kissed him, and he squeezed her around her middle until she broke away from him.

“—The plan?” he concluded, somewhat out of breath.

“I’m not sure,” she replied, also breathlessly. “We could go somewhere. Get some food or drinks or something.”

“Okay…”

“What do you want to do?”

“Honestly, I’d just like to hang out with you. Alone.”

She chewed her lip pensively for a moment. “I think we can arrange that,” she said, and grabbed his hand to lead him to the other side of the kitchen, through the door to her family’s half of the house.

He followed her up the stairs to the room he now knew was hers, due to it’s distinctive lack of band posters or anything on the walls, and she shut the door behind them. “I’ve reached the inner sanctum. I feel so honoured.”

“As you should,” she said. “I’ve never let anyone in my room before.”

“Never? Not even your friends? Boyfriend? No one?”

“I’m a very private person,” she added with a shrug. “Besides, none of my friends ever wanted to come this far out into the ‘middle of nowhere’ to see me.”

“None except me, I suppose,” he said.

“Right…”

“So… Can I sit?” he asked, gesturing towards the bed.

“Er, yeah, go ahead,” she replied as she paced slightly. She seemed to keep noticing things that needed to be put away, and then doing so.

“Aren’t you going to sit, too?”

“Yeah, I just—”

He grabbed her arm as she went to pick up a hair elastic off the floor near his foot and urged her onto the bed next to him. “Relax,” he said. “I’m not judging your housekeeping skills.”

“I know, it’s just…”

“Just what?”

“I think we need to get to know each other a little better before…”

“Rae, we’ve been talking every day; how much better do we have to know each other before we can sit together?”

“No, I mean before we… you know…”

“Oh, I see…” He chuckled a little. “Well, I meant it when I said I just wanted to hang out with you.”

She covered her face with one hand. “I know, but after the way I greeted you in the kitchen I was afraid you had the wrong idea and—”

“Okay, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t thoroughly enjoy that,” he said with another laugh, “but we can just do whatever right now. Yeah?”

“Yeah, all right,” she said, lowering her hand away from her face. “But I’m gonna put some music on so that no one hears us talking—or whatever.” She reached over to get her computer from her desk and opened it on her lap.

She must have forgotten to turn off the music she had been listening to, though, because it started playing again as soon as she opened the laptop. She rushed to switch it to something else, but it was too late; he’d heard enough of it to know that she was listening to a song off his latest album.

“Well, well, well…” he said smugly.

“Shut up.”

“I thought you couldn’t stand my music—that it was ‘super annoying.’”

“I listened to some of your later stuff and it’s… not the worst, I guess.”

“Admit it, you’re my biggest fan.”

“Shut up.”

“You just adore my music—you’re practically obsessed with me. You might even say—”

“Shut up!”

“—That you lo—”

She clamped her hand over his mouth to make him stop talking, but it didn’t work.

“—Love me,” he added, muffled by her hand.

“I do not.” She changed the song playing and set the laptop down on the bedside table with her free hand, knocking over some more hair elastics as she did so.

He removed her hand from his face and laughed. “It’s nothing to be embarrassed about. Plenty of girls feel the same way about me.”

“Wow, you are so not helping.”

“Does it help,” he added, tucking a stray hair behind her ear, “to know that I also…” He stared her in the eye as he cupped the side of her face. “…Love me?”

She smiled reluctantly and pushed his hand away. “You’re a jackass.”

“Can I ask you a serious question, though?”

“What is it?”

“Which of my songs is your favourite?”

She rolled her eyes. “Ha ha.”

“No, I mean it. I’m just curious.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh, er, I guess I’d have to say… That one you played at Open Mic the last time you were here,” she said. “I listen to that one the most, I think.”

“Any particular reason?” he asked.

“Probably because it gave me goosebumps when you played it. It was just… unexpectedly raw, and I liked it.”

“Okay… I’ll keep that in mind…”

“Can I just make one small request for your next album?”

“Sure…?”

“Don’t write a song about me, please.”

He laughed. “You think highly of yourself, don’t you?”

“I just don’t want to be listening to a song and wondering if it’s about me,” she said.

“I promise, I won’t.”

“Thank you.”

“And if you hear one about a girl who secretly likes my music but won’t put out, that’s about someone else.”

She shoved him playfully in the arm.

He laughed again and leaned back, propping himself up on his elbows. “Don’t worry, Rae. I only write songs about exes and girls I wish I could date—not ones I’m currently dating.”

“We’re _dating_?” she asked, twisting around to look at him.

“Aren’t we?”

“I dunno. We haven’t been on a _date_.”

“What’s this right now?”

“If this is a date, then it’s a terrible one,” she said with a laugh.

“It still counts.”

She leaned back on her elbows next to him and dropped her head back. “Oh, I freaking love this song.”

“Yeah, it’s pretty great…” he replied, though he didn’t recognize it. But he didn’t want to seem uncool by asking what it was.

He stared at her as she closed her eyes, listening intently to the music coming from the terrible laptop speakers. He wondered if she ever listened to his music like that, with all of her attention, like it was speaking directly to her. He doubted it.

She opened her eyes and gave him a sidelong glance. “Why are you staring at me?”

He smiled a little as he tried to think of some sort of smart remark, but then decided on the truth. “Because I want to,” he said seriously.

She lowered herself down onto her back as he rolled towards her. “Finn…” she said, running her hand up his shoulder and around the back of his neck. “Can I ask you something?”

“Anything,” he replied as he slid his hand to the side of her waist.

“How many girls have you… dated?”

“I, er, I don’t know, exactly…”

She didn’t look pleased by that answer. “You don’t know?”

“It depends what you mean by ‘dated,’” he said, though he quickly realized that wasn’t helping his case.

“Do you mean to say that you’ve dated more girls than you’ve slept with, or vice versa?”

“I don’t know the exact ratio—”

“Guess.”

“Do we have to talk about this now?”

“I said we needed to get to know each other. This is something I want to know about you.”

He sighed and rolled away onto his back beside her. “Fine. I’ve _dated_ seven girls, including school girlfriends. But I’ve probably hooked up with about thirty others.”

“ _Thirty_?” she asked incredulously, propping herself up on her elbows again.

“In my defence, most of them were when I was about seventeen or eighteen, during my first world tour. I was sort of swept up in the novelty of partying and whatnot.”

“That’s your defence?”

“Well, I mean, in the past couple years, I’ve only been with three women, so I’m getting better, right?”

“I suppose you could frame it that way…”

“What’s your number, then?”

“Excuse me?”

“How many guys have you…?”

She turned her head to look at him. “Two.”

“Is that how many you dated or—”

“Both.”

“Ever?”

“I told you before, I don’t meet that many single people in my age bracket out here.”

“So am I just the first single, age-appropriate guy to show up here, and that’s why you fancy me?” he asked jokingly.

“Honestly?” she replied, leaning towards him. “I don’t know why I fancy you.”

“It’s because I’m a heartthrob, isn’t it?” he said with a cheeky grin.

“Or maybe it’s because you’re so humble and grounded despite your massive fame,” she said sarcastically.

“I am, though. I’m a pretty chill guy.”

Rolling onto her side to face him, she laughed a little. “You’re the most pompous ass I’ve ever met.”

“Is that so?” he challenged, lifting his head so he was eye-level with her.

They maintained their mutual stare-down for a good thirty seconds before she finally broke down and kissed him again, hooking her finger into the V-neck of his jumper. He held onto her as she pushed him down onto his back once more, barely letting their lips part for a second. She ran her hand down his chest and stomach to the waistband of his jeans, and then back up beneath the t-shirt under his jumper.

“So much for getting to know each other first, eh?” he said with a chuckle as she kissed his jawline.

“That’s what I’m doing,” she replied quietly in his ear.

If that was how it was going to be, he figured he might as well take part, and started sliding his hand up under the back of her t-shirt. He could feel her tense up at his touch, but she soon relaxed into it. Her fingertips trailed back down his stomach slowly, but just as she reached his waistband again, his phone started vibrating in his pocket.

“Shit,” he muttered, using his free hand to try and fish it out.

“Ignore it,” she said as she pushed his hand away from his pocket.

“But it’s probably—” He stopped as soon as he felt her start to unfasten his jeans.

She kissed him again while opening the top button, plying him with a bit more tongue to distract him from his phone, it seemed. And it was working for a little while. The buzzing stopped, and the two of them continued getting to know the inside of each other’s mouth for a couple of minutes before it started up again.

“I’m sorry,” he said as he pulled back slightly and reached for his phone again. “But I’m going to be in for it if I don’t answer this.”

He kept one arm around her as he held the phone to his ear. “I’m fine,” he said when he answered it.

“Where the fuck are you?” Ms. Turner asked on the other end.

“I said I’m fine,” he repeated while Rae traced squiggles on his abdomen, which tickled a little.

“That’s not what I asked you,” said Ms. Turner sternly.

“I’m hanging out with Rae.”

“Who?”

“Rae. The owners’ daughter.”

“I thought I told you not to see her anymore.”

“We’re just hanging out. As friends,” he said. “I’m allowed to have friends, aren’t I?”

“She’s only after one thing, you know,” Ms. Turner replied.

“That’s a load of bullsh—” He stopped just as Rae began to unzip his fly. “She’s a surprising person,” he said, clenching his eyes shut as she kissed his jawline again. “You have no idea what she’s like.”

“They’re all the same, Mr. Nelson.”

He let out an involuntary groan when Rae slipped her hand into the front of his trousers, and quickly added, “Er, I have to go now.” He ended the call and let the phone fall from his hand as he turned his attention back to her. “You’re evil,” he said.

She flashed a cheeky grin. “I’m a surprising person.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn starts writing songs for his upcoming album, and Rae convinces him to debut one of them at Open Mic Night.

“Yeah, well,” Finn said as Rae walked her fingertips up to his chest again, “you gave me a hard-on while I was talking to Ms. Turner, which is probably the most disgusting thing ever.”

“Why? She’s kind of attractive in a stern cougar sort of way, isn’t she?” Rae offered, causing Finn to grimace.

“Ugh! No. Not even a little.”

“So you’ve never thought about her in that way?”

“Ew, no!” he replied indignantly. “Have you?”

She laughed. “No, I’m just saying that you spend a lot of time with her, so it would make sense, kind of.”

“Not even in my worst nightmares have I thought of her in that way, okay?”

“Okay…”

“You can even check; talking about her has sufficiently killed my enthusiasm.”

“Well, I can fix that,” Rae said as she leaned in to kiss him again, but he held her off.

“I should probably go before she calls again, or I’m going to be in deep shit.”

She sighed and sat upright. “Fine. Just know that I’m pissed off, all right?”

He sat up as well and gave her a quick peck on the lips. “Noted,” he said. Standing up, he re-fastened his jeans and put his phone back in his pocket. “I’ll see you soon, yeah?”

Rae nodded, but looked rather annoyed.

“Later, girl.”

***

Finn didn’t see Rae for three more days, except in passing at breakfast, although they did text each other frequently. Rae always seemed to be working when Ms. Turner was occupied with a business call or something, and was only available during the times that Ms. Turner was on Finn’s case about getting some songwriting done. She had demanded to hear two completed songs by the end of their first week there—which was not all that high of a demand, considering he had to write over a dozen of them in a month.

The only good thing about not spending any time with Rae was that Finn actually managed to get some work done. He’d even written one-and-a-half songs in those three days, and managed to convince Ms. Turner to let Rae come visit him in his room in order to listen to what he’d come up with so far. (“Like a tiny focus group,” he’d said.)

He jumped up from his bed as soon as there was a knock on the door, knowing that it had to be Rae. Finally.

“Hey,” he said coolly when he opened the door, trying to hide the elation he felt seeing her again in case Ms. Turner was around.

“Hi,” Rae replied, obviously a little confused by his cavalier attitude.

“Come on in,” he added, stepping aside to let her in. “I’m really sorry about this,” he said quietly once they were away from the door.

“Sorry about what?”

“Sorry that I have to play one of my ‘super annoying’ songs for you. It was the only way I could get you over here, but Ms. Turner is right next-door, so she’ll hear if I don’t play anything.”

“That’s all right,” said Rae. “I can tune it out.” She flashed a smile like she was just teasing him.

He went over to his laptop on the desk by the window to start playing the poor-quality demo he’d recorded on GarageBand the day before.

“Oh, you’re not performing for me live?”

He stopped and looked over at her, where she was sitting on the bed and pointing at his guitar case in the corner. “Oh, I, er, I didn’t think—You’re teasing me, aren’t you?”

She smirked at him.

“All right,” he said as he poised his finger over the space bar, “to warn you, this is just a demo. It’s really crappy. Like a rough draft of an essay, or like a really loose sketch, yeah?”

“Yes, I get the concept,” she said. “Just play the damn thing.”

He pressed the button to start playing the song before joining her over on the bed.

“Hmm…” she added, scowling a little.

“What?”

“Are you sure you want to open with a minor chord there?”

“Am I sure what?” he asked, but her expression had returned to a smirk. He rolled his eyes. “Oh, ha ha. Très drôle.”

The smirk became a genuine smile as she rested her hand on the bed between them so that it was just barely touching his. “So,” she said. “You didn’t invite me here just to critique your music, right?”

“I suppose not…”

She leaned in to kiss him, but he deflected. “Oh, sorry, I thought—” she began, backing away like she was embarrassed.

“No, sorry,” he said quickly. “It’s just, I don’t know how I feel about making out to one of my own songs.” He realized how stupid that sounded as he was saying it.

“Oh… Can I tell you a secret?” she added after a moment of contemplation.

“Sure…”

“I actually kind of like your singing voice…”

“And that has to be a secret?” he asked.

“I mean, I like it in a… visceral way.”

He raised his eyebrows at her and she looked away.

“It’s just, it reminds me of that night three months ago, remember? The night after you said you’d be coming back here… We were texting and…”

“Er, yeah, I remember…” he said, trying not to smile. “It was… an interesting conversation, to say the least.”

“Yes, well, I was listening to some of your songs at the time, so…”

“So you’re saying it turns you on.”

She covered her face in embarrassment. “I shouldn’t have said anything—”

“No, Rae, it’s fine,” he added, prying her hands away from her face. “It’s not the first time someone’s told me they got off to my music—”

“Oh, jeez!”

“All right, all right,” he said with a laugh. “I’m sorry. But it’s really not a big deal.”

“Yeah? I’m sure your ego is having a whale of a time with this information,” she replied.

“Heh, well…”

“You’re infuriating, you know that?”

He bit his lip to suppress a smirk.

She glowered at him for a moment before adding, “Fuck it,” and kissed him again.

He didn’t deflect this time, though, instead putting his arms around her back to draw her closer. She clawed at his chest with one hand as she slid the other one around his neck and ruffled the hair at his nape. As she lay back onto the bed, she pulled him down as well until he was practically on top of her.

Single-handedly, she began opening the buttons on his cardigan, so he sat up to pull it off over his head without bothering to undo the rest of them. The bed creaked loudly as he resumed his position on top of her, however, and they both froze for a second.

“Okay,” he said in a whisper. “I don’t think she heard—”

He was interrupted by a knock, and scrambled to stand up as quickly as possible. Rae sat up, too, while he smoothed out his t-shirt before answering the door.

“‘Sup?” he said to Ms. Turner when the door opened, and then immediately wondered why he’d chosen that particular word at that moment.

She frowned at him like she also thought it was an odd word choice. “I heard a commotion and wanted to check that you were all right,” she said.

_Yeah, right,_ he thought. She just wanted to make sure that he was miserable.

“I didn’t hear any noise,” he replied as he brushed down the hair at the back of his neck that he’d just noticed was sticking up.

“Right, well,” she said, eyeing him suspiciously. “I’ll be right there in the next room if you need anything.”

“Thanks, I appreciate it,” he lied, and she headed back to her room before he shut the door.

“She is like the ultimate cockblocker,” said Rae, quietly enough that no one would be able to hear her through the walls.

“Maybe we should go back to your room, then?” he suggested.

“My mum’s downstairs; she’d see us heading over there and not let you go past the kitchen.”

“Then maybe we go out somewhere we can talk over a whisper?”

“I have to leave for work in an hour,” she said. “But I have an idea if you can get away tomorrow night…”

***

As he entered the café with Rae, Finn looked around curiously. The layout of the tables had changed since the last time he was here six months ago, and the stage area was on the other side now.

“I’ll get us drinks while you go sign up and get us a table, yeah?” Rae said to him, drawing his attention back to her.

“Hmm? Oh, er, yeah. Sure,” he said as he took his wallet out of his pocket to hand her some cash.

“Don’t worry about it,” she replied, pushing his money away.

“Come on, Rae. Just take it.”

“Look, it was my idea to come here, so it’s my treat. You can get it next time.”

He realized he wasn’t going to get anywhere arguing with her as she was too stubborn, so he put his wallet back in his pocket before giving her hand a squeeze. “You’re infuriating, you know that?”

While she went to order their beverages, he headed over to the Open Mic sign-up table to get his name on the list. She had convinced him to test out his new song in front of an _unbiased_ audience. (She claimed her bias was that she hated his music, but he knew she was lying. Or, at the very least, exaggerating.)

“Hey, I know you,” some guy said as he walked up to Finn at the table.

Finn immediately started to get a panicked feeling in his stomach, like he was about to be outed to the entire coffee shop. “I doubt it,” he murmured, trying to avoid eye contact.

“You’ve been here before,” the guy continued. “You’re Jack, right?”

With a small sigh of relief, Finn turned to look at him and recognized him as they guy who’d lent him the guitar last time. “Er, yeah.”

“It’s been a while. Where’ve you been, mate?”

“Oh, I’m not local,” he said. “I’m just here visiting a friend.”

“Well, let me know if you need to borrow my guitar again.”

“Er, yeah, actually, that would be great.”

“No problem, buddy.” He patted Finn on the shoulder before walking away and Finn finished signing himself up for an Open Mic slot.

When he turned around to look for a table, he saw that Rae was already carrying their drinks towards him. They stopped and looked at each other, then over at an empty table and back at each other. They nodded and both headed over to it, snagging it right before another couple could get there.

“I feel kind of bad taking this table,” Finn said as took off his jacket and draped it over the back of his chair.

“Don’t,” said Rae, taking a sip from the steaming mug in her hands. “We got here first, fair and square.”

“Has anyone ever told you that you’re not a very nice person?”

“Yes.”

He smiled and picked up his own mug. “Okay, just making sure.”

“‘Nice’ is a bullshit barometer for the overall goodness or badness of a person, anyway,” she added. “It just means that you blindly follow social norms without questioning them.”

“It’s also about being considerate of others, is it not?”

“Blah blah blah. Now, shut up. I think someone’s about to play.”

“And it wouldn’t be _nice_ to talk through it—”

She nudged him in the arm to quiet him. “Shh!”

Still smiling, he picked up her hand and kissed the back of it, which caused her to look at him funny. “What?” he mouthed at her, continuing to stroke her hand with his thumb as the first performer began.

Shaking her head, she pulled her hand away from him and wrapped it around her mug as she watched the performance.

Once it was over and everyone was applauding, Finn leaned over and whispered in Rae’s ear, “What’s wrong?”

She just shook her head again and clapped half-heartedly.

“Let me guess,” he added. “You don’t like PDA.”

“Oh, you think?”

“Why, though? It’s not like we’re going at it in the middle of the café.”

“Because,” she said quietly, looking around to make sure no one had heard him, “our relationship is nobody’s business.”

“Okay…” he replied, but he wasn’t quite sure that he understood. Pretty much any girl he’d dated had wanted everyone to know, in no uncertain terms, that he was with her.

The next few performers took their turns on stage as Finn and Rae sat in silence. He worried that he’d pissed her off.

“All right, next on the docket is Jack Daniels,” said the Open Mic presenter. “Jack? Where are you? Come on up.”

It took Finn a moment to realize that it was him. “Oh, er, sorry, that’s me.”

He headed towards the stage area, stopping past the guy from earlier to borrow his guitar, and sat down on the little stool. He had to adjust the microphone as the last person had been taller than him. “Hey,” he said, feeling suddenly very nervous about debuting a new song in front of a room full of strangers.

“I just finished writing this song a couple days ago,” he added. “So it’s a little rough around the edges, and I might mess it up, but here goes.”

He strummed the opening chords and started singing. “She said, ‘Maybe you should grow up now.’ I said, ‘I would if I had been taught how.’ So I ran away with my headphones on. And I lost myself in another song.

“A song about things I’ve never felt and never understand. Maybe it’s common sense, maybe experience, but this has gotten out of hand.”

He closed his eyes when he got to the chorus. “‘Drop your weapon!’ I cried, but she didn’t hear me. This would have been the day I died if she had aimed near me. A pigeon fell out of the sky, I could see clearly. ‘You know I have an excellent eye,’ she said, ‘so you’d better fear me.’”

He glanced over at Rae during the instrumental bridge and saw her look away quickly, like she’d been caught staring, before he went into the final verse.

“She said, ‘Maybe you should give up now.’ I said, ‘I would if I had been taught how.’ So I sat and waited with my headphones on. And I wrote the lyrics to another song.

“A song about things I’ve never felt and never understand. Maybe it’s common sense, maybe experience, but this has gotten out of hand.

“‘Drop your weapon!’ I cried, but she didn’t hear me. This would have been the day I died if she had aimed near me. A pigeon fell out of the sky, I could see clearly. ‘You know I have an excellent eye,’ she said, ‘so you’d better fear me.’

“She said, ‘Maybe you should grow up now.’ I said, ‘I would if I had been… taught… how…’”

He let the last chord ring out for a moment before clamping his hand over his guitar and allowing the meagre applause to wash over him. “Thanks,” he said quietly into the mic before stepping down and returning to his seat.

Even Rae’s applause was not very enthusiastic, but she was watching him intensely.

“Thoughts?” he asked her, bracing himself for ridicule.

“I think,” she said slowly, “that we need to leave.”

***

“What?” Rae said, looking over at Finn as she settled herself back in the driver’s seat. “What’s that look for?”

“What look?” he asked, trying to keep the grin off his face.

“You look like the cat that ate the canary,” she replied.

“I’m just happy,” he said. “Am I not allowed to be happy about this?”

“Fine, fine.” She started scanning the area around her and frowned. “Did you see where my knickers went?”

“Er, I think I tossed them in the back.” He felt around his seat blindly as it was too dark to see anything and grabbed the first article of clothing he could. “Well, I found your leggings, at least.”

“Good enough,” she said, and began the struggle of pulling them on under her dress while sitting in her seat. “I’ll sort out the rest when I get home.”

He yanked the lever on the side of his seat to bring the back up to its normal position after picking up his t-shirt from the backseat and pulling it on. “I’ve never done this in a car before,” he said, and she raised a sceptical eyebrow at him. “Limousines don’t count, right?”

“I hate you,” she said as she started up the car again.

He reached over to lift her hand off the steering wheel and kissed the back of it once more. “If you say so.”

***

Finn quickly pulled on his jumper when he got out of the car in front of the B&B. He didn’t bother putting his jacket back on, as it was just a few steps to the front door, so he carried it in his arm as he waved Rae off towards the garage.

He got inside and was immediately accosted by Ms. Turner who appeared to have been waiting for him in the sitting room.

“Where were you?” she asked him as he walked past her towards the staircase.

“I went out for coffee with Rae,” he said. “I was careful, though. No one knew who I was.”

“So that’s it, then? Coffee?”

“Yes. You want me to take a breathalyzer test?”

“If you just went out for coffee, then why is your jumper on backwards?” she said. “And inside out.”

He looked down and saw the tag of his jumper displayed at the top of his chest. “None of your business,” he grumbled as he hurried up the stairs

“I told you not to get too close to her,” said Ms. Turner, following him.

“I’ve got it under control.”

“Clearly you don’t,” she said when they reached the top of the stairs. “Now, I don’t care who you have _relations_ with—”

“Ugh, gross.”

“—But you seem to be getting attached to this girl, and it’s bound to blow up in your face. Lest we forget Gra—”

“Yes, I remember,” he said quickly. “But Rae’s not like that.”

“Face it, Mr. Nelson. She’s a nobody living in the middle of nowhere and you’re her ticket out of here.”

Finn contemplated that for a moment before opening the door to his room. “Goodnight, Ms. Turner.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn returns to London to record his album, and he convinces Rae to come visit him.

“I wish that I didn’t have to leave tomorrow,” Finn said as he sat at the kitchen island, propping up his chin, with his elbows on the countertop and his feet dangling just above the floor. “And I’m sorry we didn’t get to spend more time together the past few weeks.”

Rae stood opposite him, kneading dough. “I know you were busy working,” she said. “Plus, I know that Ms. Turner hates me for some reason.”

“She doesn’t hate you; she hates the concept of you.”

“Oh, that makes me feel better.”

“I was thinking, though…” Finn added, dropping his hands and leaning forward on the island. “You should come visit me in London.”

“I thought we went over this last time you were here,” said Rae.

“You said you couldn’t visit me because you didn’t know me,” he pointed out. “And I think we know each other pretty well, now, so…”

“I work two jobs, Finn. How am I going to find the time?”

“You don’t get vacation days?”

“Well, yeah, but—”

“But you don’t want to waste them on me.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“What is it, then?”

“I—I’ve never been to London. I’ve never even left Lincolnshire.”

He smirked a little. “There’re a lot of things you’d never done before you met me.”

Glaring at him, she plonked the ball of dough into a greased bowl.

“I can show you around,” he continued. “I think you’ll like it.”

“I dunno… What about Ms. Turner?”

“What about her?”

“I assume she wouldn’t approve,” said Rae as she set the covered bowl on the far counter and put on a pair of oven mitts.

“So? She’s not going to find out,” he said. “It’s not like she lives anywhere near me.”

“Oh.”

“She doesn’t know half the shit I get up to in my personal time.”

Rae took a tray of _pains au chocolat_ out of the oven before turning to look at him. “But aren’t you going to be busy recording your album?”

“Yeah, but I’ll try to arrange for a lighter week when you visit. How about that?”

“I still don’t know,” she said.

“Think about how nice it would be to actually get some time to ourselves,” he added. “Without your parents, without my entourage. Just you and me. We could even have sex in an actual bed for once—”

“Finn!”

“What? I’m just saying…”

She inhaled slowly and let out her breath in a sigh. “I’ll think about it… Now, let me work, all right?”

***

“Fine, you’re right,” Rae said as she curled up next to Finn. “Your bed is much more comfortable than the ones at the B&B.”

“Like I said, it’s a proper mattress,” he replied before kissing the top of her head.

“But I have to admit, your flat is a lot smaller than I was expecting…”

“Excuse me?”

“Not that it’s _small_ ,” she added quickly. “But it’s not as… _grand_ as I thought it would be.”

“You sound disappointed,” he teased.

“Yeah, well, I’m rethinking our entire relationship now.”

“Once I sell a million copies of my next album, I’ll upgrade to a new one, all right?”

“A new flat or a new relationship?”

“Oh, Rae…” He lifted her chin so he could look her in the eye. “Both.”

“Charming.”

“I like things the way they are, for now, though,” he said.

“Yeah, I guess,” she said, smiling reluctantly as she traced lazy circles on his bare chest.

He picked up her hand and gently kissed each of her fingers. “I promise you,” he began with a serious tone, “I will stand by you, always and forever… or at least until I go on tour again.” He broke into a grin when she frowned at him.

She hit him lightly in the chest with her fist.

“Okay, okay, I take back that last part,” he said with a laugh.

“In all seriousness, though,” she began, rolling away from him and covering herself with the duvet, “last time you were on tour, did you—I mean, we weren’t even—It’s just, I’m curious what—Actually, never mind, I don’t—”

“No.”

“It’s okay, I don’t need to—”

“No.”

“Really. I’m fine if you did. We weren’t any—”

“I haven’t been with anyone else since I met you,” he said. “But you’re making it seem like you have…”

“No, it’s not that. Trust me, I have not even had the inclination, let alone the opportunity,” she said. “It’s just hard for me to believe that none of your thirty-seven girls were during the past eight months.”

“Why is that hard to believe?”

“Statistic probability.”

He scoffed. “You’re being ridiculous.”

“But you probably met thousands of young women while on tour who would love to be with you.”

“Yeah, I probably did. That doesn’t mean the feeling was mutual.” He rolled towards her and put his arm across her stomach. “Rae, you know I love you, right?”

She looked over at him and frowned again. “What?”

“I love you,” he repeated.

“But—But we’ve only been together for a month—”

“That’s not true and you know it.”

“But, when did you know that you—”

“I think it was back in November or December,” he said. “You called me an ‘insufferable dickhead’ right before our third or fourth sexting session, and I just knew it.”

She laughed in surprise. “That’s… why you love me? Because I called you a dickhead?”

“Well, maybe partly for the stuff you said after that, too…”

“Oh, pff!” she said, swatting him in the chest with the back of her hand.

“But seriously, Rae,” he added, grabbing her hand once more. “I love you, and I know you love me, too.”

“What makes you think that?”

“I know you well enough to know that you wouldn’t be here right now if you didn’t.”

“…Touché.”

“Now, as much as I’d like to stay in bed all day and talk mushy with you—because I know you’d hate that—I actually have to get to work.”

“I thought you weren’t working today,” she said as he squeezed her hand.

“I was supposed to have the day off, yes,” he replied, taking a moment to kiss the inside of her wrist. “But we were meant to have this track finished yesterday and we didn’t quite get there.”

“You don’t really seem eager to get going,” she pointed out when he began kissing her shoulder.

“I’m not.” He nuzzled against the side of her cheek. “I’d much rather stay here and kiss every inch of you.”

“That’s a lot of inches.”

“I’m up for the challenge.”

She patted him on the head patronizingly. “Maybe when you get back…”

***

Although Finn had told Rae she could do whatever she wanted while he was working, he asked her if she wanted to come meet him at the studio for lunch around one in the afternoon.

“I’ll get someone to pick up your favourite Pret sandwich,” he said to her over the phone when he invited her.

“I’ve never had one, so I don’t even know,” she replied.

“Right… Well, I’ll make sure we get something you’ll eat.”

He sent her the address, which was walking distance from his flat, so he was hopeful that she would be able to find it all right. And she did, it seemed, as she showed up within fifteen minutes of their call.

“Sorry it took so long,” she said when he met her outside the front door of the building. “I went down the wrong street at first.”

“You’re right on time,” he replied, reaching out to take her hand while still holding the door open with his foot so he wouldn’t have to get buzzed back in. “Archie just returned from Pret like thirty seconds before you got here.”

“I don’t know who that is, but okay,” she said, following him inside.

“Don’t worry, I’ll introduce you to everyone.”

She squeezed his hand tight, like she was nervous, as he led her down a few corridors to the lounge next to the recording studio. Nobody in the room paid them any attention when they entered.

“Look alive, guys,” said Finn. “We have a visitor.”

The others stopped what they were doing to look at him and then at Rae.

“This is Rae,” he said to them, and then started pointing out each of the others to her. “That’s Archie—he does the guitar and bass tracks. And that over there is Chloe—she does keyboards. Next to her is Chop—he does drums and horns and basically any other instrument imaginable.And last but not least is Izzy—she produced my last album, which is arguably the best, right, Iz?”

“Not arguably,” Izzy replied after taking a sip from her bottle of water. “It’s no contest.”

“As I was saying,” Finn continued. “Rae, everyone; everyone, Rae.”

“Hi.” Rae nodded slightly in the direction of the others, and they responded in kind.

“There’s a bunch of sandwiches and salads and juice and stuff in those bags over there,” said Archie, pointing towards the kitchenette. “Help yourselves.”

“Cheers,” said Finn as he headed over there, Rae right at his heel.

“It’s all right that I’m here, yes?” she asked him quietly, out of earshot of the others.

“Of course it is,” he said. “I’m the boss, so I say what’s all right or not.”

She looked at him sceptically.

“Okay, so maybe I’m not _the boss_ , but it’s still fine!”

“But isn’t Ms. Turner going to be pissed off when she finds out I’m here?”

“She’s not going to find out.”

“She isn’t?”

“She only ever comes by the studio to light a fire under my ass when the deadline is approaching and I’ve not got anything done yet.”

“All right…”

They picked out their lunches and pulled over some lounge chairs to join the others in a cluster on one side of the room.

“What are we talking about over here?” Finn asked as he sat down and started munching on some edamame.

“We were debating whether or not the current mix needs more bass,” said Izzy, looking like she was tired of this conversation already.

“You can never have too much bass,” Chop argued.

“When it feels like you’re about to loose your bowels, it’s too much bass,” said Archie.

“What are you talking about? I love feeling it in my gut—”

“Come on,” Finn cut in. “You guys are boring Rae, here.”

“Er, I don’t mind, really,” said Rae.

“Okay, fine, you’re boring _me_ , then.”

“Look, at the end of the day, this is my album, so I get to decide,” Izzy said before taking a bite of her wrap.

Finn cleared his throat loudly. “ _Your_ album?”

“You’re just going to side with Chop ‘cause he’s your husband,” Archie grumbled to Izzy.

“Not necessarily,” she replied.

“Once again, I ask,” Finn said to her, “ _your_ album?”

“Oh, please,” said Chloe, waving a hand dismissively at him. “You’re just the pretty face they slap on the cover to sell concert tickets, babe.”

He scoffed like he was offended, though he knew she was only joking. “Let’s not forget who actually writes these songs.”

“I wouldn’t boast about that if I were you,” she said.

“Oh yeah? Well—” He stopped and flicked one of his empty edamame shells at her.

“Ugh! You’re disgusting!” she yelped, and he laughed. She tried to throw it back at him, but it landed on Rae’s arm. “Oh, god, I’m so sorry, er…”

“Rae,” said Rae.

“Right, Rae,” said Chloe, standing up to pass Rae a napkin. “I’m really sorry, I was aiming for him, I swear.”

“It’s all right…”

“You,” she added as she turned her attention back to Finn, “are such a jerk.” She sat down beside him in his chair so her legs crossed his lap and smacked him on the side of his head. “Look what you made me do to your girlfriend!”

“It was worth it,” he said, and she stole one of his whole edamame pods.

“Ignore them,” Archie said to Rae. “They’re always like this.”

Chloe looked like she chose to ignore his comment. “So, tell me, Rae,” she said, bumping Rae’s chair with her foot, “what do you do?”

“I work at a bakery,” Rae answered curtly.

“Oh, cool.”

“She also bakes for her parents’ Bed & Breakfast,” said Finn. “That’s how we met.”

“Oh, is she the girl in that song about the B&B?” asked Chop.

Finn looked over at Rae, who was now glaring at him with a confused expression, and then back at Chop. “No, I just made up some crap for that one.” He returned his attention to Rae. “It’s not about you, I swear. It’s not about anyone.”

“Fine,” she said as she prodded her salad with a plastic fork.

But he could tell something was not fine.

***

Finn dropped his keys on the kitchen island when he got back to his flat later that evening. The place was quiet, which was not unusual except that Rae was supposed to be around somewhere. She wasn’t in the open kitchen and living area, so he headed down the hall to his bedroom where he found her lying in the bed with her laptop, headphones over her ears.

“Rae?” he said, entering the room slowly so as not to startle her, but he did.

“Jesus, Finn!” she said as she took off her headphones. “You scared the crap out me again.”

“Sorry.” He crawled up onto the bed right next to her and she shut her laptop. “What were you doing?”

“Nothing,” she said, not like she was trying to hide anything but like she couldn’t be bothered to explain in more than one word.

“Something wrong, girl?” he asked, moving her computer onto the bedside table.

“No.”

“You sure?”

“No.”

“You’ve been in a funk since lunch. What is it?”

She scowled for a minute before answering. “It’s Chloe.”

“Oh… I see,” he said. “You know she doesn’t mean all that stuff she says about me, right? She just likes making fun of me and—”

“What? No, not that,” she said, shaking her head. “You two were just so… close.”

“Yeah. She and I have been close friends for years now.”

“I mean physically. She was literally sitting on your lap!”

“We were just goofing around,” he said.

Rae folded her arms across her chest. “What I want to know is, was she one of your seven or one of your thirty?”

“My what?”

“Did you date her or did you just fuck her?”

“What? Neither! Rae, I don’t get—”

“Look, I’m not blind, all right? I can see that she is like fifty times hotter than I am, so—”

“Okay, first of all, that’s not true,” he cut in as he pried her arms open. “And B, contrary to your belief, I have not fucked every hot girl I’ve ever met.”

“So you admit she’s hot?”

“I don’t know, Rae. I honestly don’t think of her that way; we’re just good mates.” He wrapped his arm around her waist and snuggled up to her, but she turned her head away when he tried to kiss her.

“You two were just so casual and flirty together; I’ve never had mates like that.”

“We were not _flirty_.”

“Oh, Finn, you’re such a jerk,” she mimicked in a fake voice, smacking him lightly on the arm. “Tee hee.”

“Come on…”

She covered her face with arms and groaned. “Ugh, why am I such an asshole?”

“You’re not an asshole, Rae”

“I am. I’m a self-loathing, woman-hating, slut-shaming asshole,” she said. “It shouldn’t matter who you have or haven’t been with. It shouldn’t matter who your friends are. It shouldn’t matter that there are millions of young women around the globe getting off on fantasies of being your girlfriend right now. It shouldn’t matter!”

“So why does it?”

“The thing is,” she replied, lowering her arms slowly, “with my first boyfriend, I could understand why he was with me. It wasn’t like girls were lining up around the block to get a shot with him, you know what I’m saying? We were the two biggest losers at school, so we sort of _belonged_ together. But the only other guy I’ve been with, he was sort of like you.”

“You’ve dated a pop star before?” he asked jokingly.

“I mean he was, like, proper fit and stuff. He had options. And he made it very clear that he intended to keep those options open…”

“Is—Is that what you think I’m—?”

“I know that you’re not actually like him at all,” she cut in, her voice cracking a little. “But you have so many options and I hate to think that you’re closing them all off just for me and—”

“Hold on,” he said. “I’m totally okay with closing off those options. But it’s not like I actually have _that many_ options, either.”

“What about the millions of young women fantasizing about you?”

“They don’t really want me, though, do they? They want some idea of me they’ve built up in their heads. They don’t know what I’m really like; they don’t know me the way that you know me. Besides, anyone that I’ve dated has ended up not truly liking me, anyway. To paraphrase a very outdated song that you probably hate,” he added, “girls don’t like me; girls like cars and money.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Most of my girlfriends have either been too wrapped up in their own fame to give a shit about me, or only cared about me insofar as they could receive monetary gain.”

“You know I don’t want anything like that from you, right?” she said.

“Of course,” he replied, holding her hand tightly. “That’s why, even if I did have a million other women to choose from, I’d still choose you. I’ll always choose you, Rae.”

She lifted his hand towards her face and gently kissed the back of it. “I think I might actually love you.”

“I know.”

***

“I hate this,” Finn said, leaning against the back cushion of his sofa as he held his mobile to his ear. “Only getting to see you once or twice a month, and even then only for a few hours…”

“I know,” Rae replied on the other end. “But there’s not much I can do about that. I have to work.”

“Yeah, but you could at least get a job that’s closer to me.”

“Or you could move to Stamford,” she added, though it sounded like she was joking.

“Sure. Until word gets out about it and your small town is overrun by teenage girls flocking to get a glimpse of me at the supermarket,” he said with a laugh. “I doubt Ms. Turner would allow it, anyway.”

“Why does she get to be in charge of your life?”

“Because that is literally her job.”

“Well, it’s a stupid job. You’re an adult; you can manage yourself just fine.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure of that,” he said. “See, I’m an asset to certain people’s financial interests, but I’m only valuable insofar as I don’t get murdered by a psycho stalker.”

“You have those?”

“I’ve apparently gotten some threatening romantic letters in the past. They don’t let me read those ones, so I don’t know the details.”

“That’s really messed up.”

“It’s just part of being an international pop sensation, I suppose.”

She sighed exasperatedly. “That doesn’t impress me, you know.”

“Yes, I know, Shania Twain.”

“What?”

“It’s a song. From when we were infants. Never mind.”

“Okay…”

“Anyway, apropos of nothing, have you figured out if you can make it to the launch party yet?”

“I’m still not sure,” she answered. “It’s difficult to get time off with two jobs.”

“Well, I want you to come, and I always get what I want.”

“Is that so?”

“No, not really,” he said seriously. “But this is important to me and I’d really like you to be there.”

“I’ll see what I can do, then.”

“Good. Now,” he added, sinking further into the cushion behind him, “I have a bit of time, so talk dirty to me.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn gets some unpleasant news right before his new album is about to launch.

“Finn!” Ms. Turner snapped, as Finn had been zoned out in his seat for a while.

He snapped out of it and looked over at her, though there was another woman standing with her. Yet another interviewer, he figured. “Sorry,” he said, still a bit dazed. It had been a long day of interviews so far and he was feeling a bit drained.

“Hi, Finn,” the woman said as she reached out to shake his hand. “I’m Veronica. I’m from The Bracket.” She must have seen the blank expression on his face, because she added, “It’s an online magazine.”

“Oh, right. Of course,” he said, even though he’d never heard of it. “Nice to meet you.”

She seemed a bit surprised by his courtesy as she took a seat in the chair opposite him. “Nice to meet you, too. Thank you for agreeing to chat with me today.”

“It’s my pleasure,” he lied. He looked over at Ms. Turner and gave her a nod to indicate that she could leave now.

“Do you mind if I record this?” Veronica asked as she held up her phone.

He figured it wouldn’t make a difference if he did mind. “Go ahead.”

She set the phone on the coffee table between them and took a small notepad out of her purse. “So, Finn,” she began, crossing her legs as she tapped on the notepad with a pen, “next week you’re set to release your fourth full-length album, and at the age of twenty-two, no less. That’s quite impressive.”

He chuckled politely. “I s’pose.”

“Now, you’ve aptly titled the album, ‘Grow Up,’ which seems appropriate, as you have grown up quite a bit since your debut single at sixteen.”

“I don’t know about that…” he said. “I think the album’s more about my inability to deal with the pressure of growing up. I mean, that’s literally the theme of the titular song.”

“But the self-awareness that’s reflected across the entire album is quite a departure from your earlier work, is it not?”

“Maybe…”

“I also get the feeling that the album sort of tells a story,” she added. “Do you think that’s because you got your start singing in musicals at school, that the narrative element has sort of stuck with you?”

“Er, yeah, I suppose there’s a bit of that,” he replied. “I mean, usually I write while I’m touring, so I’m all over the place and the songs are a bit disjointed from one another, but for this album I wrote the entire thing all at once, in one location. I think that helped it feel more cohesive.”

“Would you say that it is your most honest album to date?”

“Heh, well, I’m not sure. It’s probably the most _me_ so far, yeah. But there have always been nuggets of truth buried in my songs.”

“Speaking of the truth,” she continued, glancing at her notepad, “can you speak to the rumours that your ex-girlfriend, Grace Whitehall, is receiving offers to write a tell-all about her experience with you?”

“Wait, what?”

“You haven’t heard?”

For once in his life, Finn wished for Ms. Turner to appear and shut this whole interview down right away. “I’ve, er, been busy…”

“Are you concerned about what she might write?”

“Yes!” he blurted without thinking. “Er, I mean, not that there’s anything to tell, but nobody wants an ex to write a book about them, do they?”

Veronica laughed lightly. “Fair point.”

He also laughed, though it was out of discomfort. There was, as he thought about it, a lot that Grace could write about him, actually. And he doubted she would shed the best light on him. He wasn’t so much worried about his fanbase finding out, but was rather concerned about what Rae might think.

It was time for some damage control.

***

Just as Finn was in the middle of cooking up some pasta for dinner—he was too lazy to make anything else, just like most nights—his phone rang. He picked it up off the counter so he could answer.

“Hey, g—”

“Are you breaking up with me over the phone?” Rae asked before he could finish greeting her.

“No, why would you think that?”

“You sent me a text that read, ‘Call me when you get home, I need to talk to you,’ and that sounds like a cliché breakup line.”

“I just need to talk to you, that’s it,” he said.

“Okay, I’m listening.”

“I learned some upsetting news today—”

“Oh, god…”

“What?”

“This sounds bad. Is it bad? Of course it is. How bad is it? Is someone dead? Is—”

“Nobody’s dead, that I know of,” he replied. “It’s just that my ex wants to, er, well, she wants to write a trashy book about me.”

“Is—Is she allowed to do that? I mean, legally?”

“I think so, as long as she doesn’t make up a bunch of libellous shit.”

“It won’t be so bad, then, will it?” said Rae. “She can’t just make up stuff to hurt you, right?”

“Yeah…” Finn said slowly. “The thing is, there’s some truthful stuff she could say about me that would be a bit damaging to my character, too.”

“Like what?”

“We were together for three years, Rae.”

“So?”

“So, she has dirt on me.”

“But what kind of _dirt_ could she possibly have? You’re a pretty decent guy, all things considered.”

“I am now, yeah, but I haven’t always been…” he said. “Rae?” he added when she didn’t respond for a minute.

“How old were you when you went out with her?” she asked.

“I don’t see how that matt—”

“How old?”

He exhaled audibly as he stirred the pasta. “We started dating when I was seventeen.”

“And you dated for three years?”

“Off and on…”

“Off and on? What does that mean?”

“It means just what it sounds like,” he said. “Sometimes we were together, and sometimes we weren’t, sort of.”

“This overlapped with your _partying_ phase, didn’t it?”

“…Yes.”

“Finn, did you cheat on her?”

“We were apart, all right?” he replied defensively. “I was on tour most of the time, and she was at school or whatever, and it didn’t make sense to be exclusive at the time. It was mutual, though.”

“So, is that what’s going to happen when you go on tour next year? We’ll be off and on?”

“God, no, Rae, come on! I’m not like that anymore, and you know it.”

“I mean, I know you said you used to hook up with a bunch of girls while on tour, but I didn’t realize that you had a girlfriend back home at the time,” she said.

“Hey, she wasn’t so great to me, either!” he argued. “She was always making me buy her stuff and take her fancy places, and she was always insulting me—”

“I insult you. All the time.”

“Yeah, but you do it out of love.”

“And contempt.”

“Loving contempt.”

She let out sarcastic laugh.

“Rae,” he continued. “You are nothing like her and I am nothing like I used to be. You don’t have to worry—Oh, shit!” The pot started to boil over and he had to lift it off the hob with one hand until it calmed down.

“What’s wrong?”

“I’m just making a mess of things, that’s all.”

“Oh, the usual, then.”

“Look, I have to call you back in a bit, is that okay?”

“Yeah, I suppose.”

“Love you, girl.”

“Sure.”

***

“Do I look all right?” Rae asked as she smoothed out the dress that she was wearing.

Finn glanced over at her for a moment before returning his attention to the bathroom mirror. “Yeah, you look fine,” he said, trying to get the front of his hair to behave.

“But is this appropriate for the party? I don’t know how fancy it’s supposed to be—”

“It’s fine, honest. Just wear what you want to wear.”

“What I really want to wear is baggy joggers and an oversized t-shirt, so I’d best not,” she said.

“Hey, you do you.”

“Are you ever going to stop fussing with your hair?”

“Eventually,” he said as he flattened a couple of strays. He was startled when she decided to come up to him and ruffle all his hair haphazardly. “Oi!”

“What? You look fine,” she said with a condescending smile.

“You know if I show up at the party looking like this, people are going to think we were fooling around in the car on the way over,” he replied. “Which, by the way, I am up for.”

“Isn’t Ms. Turner going to be in the car with us?”

“In the front seat, though.”

“Still, I think I’ll pass.” Rae walked back over to the full-length mirror in the bedroom to examine herself once more. “I’m really nervous about this.”

“What are you nervous about?” he asked, looking over at her curiously.

“This is the first time I’m going to be, you know, on display with you. People are going to see us together and stuff. And Ms. Turner—”

“She already knows about us, I told you.”

“I know, but I’m still worried that she hates me, for some reason.”

“Oh, she probably does,” he said. “You could be a fucking saint and she’d still think you were after my money. Don’t take it personally.”

“Ugh, I should have brought a different outfit,” Rae grumbled, staring down at her dress. “I mean, bare legs in November? What was I thinking?”

“It’s going to be hot in the venue, trust me.” He walked over and stood behind her, running his hands down her sides. “And this will make it easier to flash your secret tattoo,” he added as he quickly lifted the bottom of her dress to expose her upper thigh.

“Hey!” She lightly elbowed him in the stomach and he laughed.

“Let’s go,” he said, picking up his phone off the dresser and sticking it in his pocket. “The free drinks aren’t going to imbibe themselves.”

***

“Finn!” said Chloe when she spotted him. “Happy launch party, babe!” she added, throwing her arms around him for a hug and spilling a bit of her cocktail on the back of his shirt.

“You, too,” Finn replied, though he was far too sober to match her level of enthusiasm.

“And Rae, it’s so good to see you again,” she said as she turned to face Rae, giving her a sloppy hug as well.

“Yeah, same,” said Rae, patting Chloe on the back half-heartedly.

“Oh, oh!” Chloe said when she let go of Rae and returned her attention to Finn. “Babydoll, you’ll never guess who’s here!”

“Who?” he asked, though he wasn’t sure who could be all that exciting.

“Wade Hart!”

“Wait a minute,” Rae cut in. “Wade Hart, the actor? He’s here?”

Chloe grinned at her and nodded. “Yep. I saw him in the corner back there.” She squealed a little, causing Finn to frown at her.

“So?” he said.

“ _So_?” Rae added, gripping his arm. “He’s only the sexiest guy on the planet!”

“Is he, now?”

“I mean, sorry, but yeah. He is.”

“I know!” said Chloe. “I think I’m going to try to talk to him.” She downed the rest of her cocktail in one gulp. “But first, a little more liquid courage.”

“Good luck,” said Finn, though he didn’t really care.

“Thanks, babe,” she said before stumbling off towards the bar.

“So…” he added, putting his arm around Rae as they walked over to his reserved table in the far corner. “Sexiest guy on the planet, huh?”

“What can I say, _babe_?” Rae said with a laugh. “I had a huge crush on him when I was in school.”

“Why don’t you go say hi, then?”

“Pfft! Are you kidding? I can’t just go up to _Wade Hart_ and say hi! I’d totally make a fool of myself!”

“Oh, so, you’ll fangirl over _him_ , and yet you had no idea who I was.”

“Aww, Finn, are you jealous?”

“A little,” he joked. “Come on, let’s have a couple drinks and I’ll see if I can get you on the dance floor.”

“Okay, fine. Just dancing, though. I’m not having a threesome. Unless Wade Hart is involved.”

“I’m not opposed to that.”

***

Finn hadn’t lied when he said it would be hot in the venue. He was sweating as he and Rae stepped away from the dance floor and back towards their table. His friends who had been sitting there earlier all appeared to be elsewhere for the time being, but he was glad to have a moment alone with Rae among all the chaos.

“I never knew that dancing could actually be fun!” she said loudly, to be heard over the music, as she slumped against him.

“It’s probably because you drank enough to knock out a horse,” he said in response.

“I’m fine, though,” she added, twisting her neck to look up at him from his shoulder. “And so are you…” She kissed the side of his face and started pawing at his chest.

“Hokay,” he said with a laugh, easing her away from him. “So much for your anti-PDA stance, huh?”

“Nobody is even looking at us.” She started kissing him again, pulling his face towards her.

He was just about to close his eyes and kiss her back when he noticed someone approach in his peripheral vision. He turned his head to see who it was, and found himself quite surprised.

“Sorry to interrupt,” said sexiest guy on the planet, Wade Hart.

“You’re not,” Finn replied, trying to wipe Rae’s residual saliva off his face in a subtle manner. “How’s it going?”

“Good, yeah,” said Wade. “I’ve actually got to head out now, but I wanted to come say congrats on the new album. It’s great.”

“You’ve heard it?”

“Just a few songs, so far, but they’re really good.”

“Oh, thank you.”

“Anyway, I’d better go,” he added. “We should catch up soon, though.”

“Definitely.”

“You two have a good time tonight.”

“Cheers, mate,” Finn said with a nod before Wade walked away. When he looked back at Rae, she appeared to be in shock. “What?”

“I didn’t realize you knew each other!” she said, smacking him on the arm.

“We don’t know each other,” he said. “We just know _of_ each other. People like us, we pretend we’re all good friends and stuff, but I’ve never met him in my life.”

“Whoa…”

“Whoa, what?”

“It’s just, this is the first time it really hit me…” she said, leaning away from him. “You’re kinda sorta famous.”

He laughed a little. “You’re just realizing this?”

“I know that you’re, like, an _international pop sensation_ , or whatever, but it never really clicked what that actually meant until now.”

“Yes, it means I pretend to be best buds with movie stars—Oh, crap!”

“What? What happened?”

“I forgot to ask him if he wanted to have a threesome with us.”

***

Finn stopped what he was doing and lifted his head to look Rae in the eye. “I’ve been thinking about something…” he said to her pensively.

“Right now?” she asked with an air of impatience, like she just wanted him to shut up and continue.

“I just hate that you have to leave tomorrow,” he added, crawling up the bed so he could lie on his back next to her. “I had an idea…”

“I can’t take any more time off this week,” she said as she covered herself with the bottom of her dress.

“I know, and that’s not my idea.”

“What is it, then?”

“Well, you said you always wanted to live in London, yeah? And you also want to open your own bakery. So why not open one here?”

“You’re joking, right?” she said, looking at him like he was talking nonsense.

“I’m serious.”

“I can’t afford to open my own bakery at all, let alone in London, of all places!”

“Don’t worry about that part,” he told her.

“It’s kind of a major part of it, though, so I don’t see how—Oh, no!” She sat up suddenly and scooted towards the edge of the bed.

He sat up as well. “Rae, I—”

“I won’t let you buy me a fucking bakery!”

“Don’t think of it like that, all right?” he said. “I’d just be making an investment in a small business.”

“But I don’t want to feel like I owe you anything.”

“You wouldn’t owe me anything. I just thought it would be nice if you could live the life you’ve always wanted.”

“Yeah, well, maybe I will, some day. On my own.”

“And how do you expect to get there, hmm?” he added, growing frustrated with her stubbornness. “You’re in the middle of nowhere, Rae, and I’m your ticket out!”

She slowly turned to look at him again, seething. “You’re what, now?”

“I only mean that not everyone has this sort of opportunity, yeah? And what if there’s not another way for you? What if this is your shot?”

“Look, maybe I’ll never open my own bakery, or live in London, or do all the things I wish I could do,” she said angrily. “But at least I’ll know that I ended up where I did all by myself!”

“What’s wrong with getting a little help once in a while, though?”

“This isn’t just you offering to foot the bill for dinner; you’re trying to buy me my future. Don’t you see how fucked up that is?”

“Honestly, I don’t. I think you’re just being immature about the whole thing.”

“I—I can’t talk to you if you’re going to be like this, Finn.” She looked around the floor by her feet. “For Christ’s sake, where are my goddamn knickers?”

He flopped down onto his back again in defeat. “Other side.”

***

“I can’t talk long; I’ve got choux buns in the oven,” Rae said when she answered the phone.

“That’s okay, I’ve gotta get set up for the Sydney gig in a few minutes, anyway,” Finn replied as he stood in front of the hotel closet, considering which t-shirt he should wear for soundcheck. “How’re things at the Bouchtat B&B&B?”

“Really busy,” she said. “I thought that adding the third B would just confuse people, but the Bed and Breakfast part is at capacity most of the time, and the Bakery part sells out almost every day.”

“I told you it was a good idea,” he said, putting the phone on speaker and setting it on the bed so he could pull his shirt on.

“Well, you were bound to come up with a good idea one of these days.”

“Gee, thanks.”

“I’m a bit surprised that people are willing to drive twenty minutes outside of town to buy my pastries, but I suppose when the Stamford bakery closed, there was a void to fill.”

“Not to mention that your croissants are the best in the UK,” he added, only somewhat exaggerating.

“Hah, yeah, right.”

“Well, top ten, at least.”

“I’m sure…”

He picked up the phone again and switched it off speaker mode so he could hold it to his ear. “I really miss you, girl.”

“I don’t have time to talk dirty to you right now, Finn.”

“That’s not what I meant,” he said with a laugh.

“I miss you, too. One week, though, right?”

“Right.”

“Well, I’d best be getting off,” she said after a moment.

“I thought you said you didn’t have time to talk dirty to me,” he teased.

“Hilarious.”

“I also have to go. I love you, though.”

“I kinda sorta love you, too.”

“I know.”


End file.
